Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
