Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
