someone threw a dead crab at me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
