that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You made out with two different species that night
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
