Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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