He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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