Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
