Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
