No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
