So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
