The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
