dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
