pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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