Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
