I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
