i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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