let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize