Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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