Your face is a jimmy john
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
