His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
