some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
