you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
