i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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