your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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