Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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