What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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