My first STD was from a foam party
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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