I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize