what day is it and did you see me today?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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