She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
