i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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