SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
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