in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I intend to get homeless drunk
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
