Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
they need to just BURY HIM!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
