thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize