i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
