You're so nebulous sometimes
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
