It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
