OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
