I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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