I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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