Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
