she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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