David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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