There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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