You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
