Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
