worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Come on in and take your pants off
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
