I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
