yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
