I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
