I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
People in love make me want to vomit
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
