Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
