Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
