I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
nutella sex= disaster
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
