Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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