Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
