I want to have your abortion
he thought i was a dude.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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