You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
