Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sobbing to NWA
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
