Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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