tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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