Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
