My friends, they love my intelligence
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize