Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
